Episode 47 - Beyond Creepshow

Episode 47 - Beyond Creepshow

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond Creepshow

Halloween Bonus Episode!

the creep.jpg

Your Polterguides took the opportunity to watch this 1982 anthology classic in a theatre on 35 mm and saved it for you as a special Halloween treat.

 IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: George A. Romero

Written by: Stephen King

Released: 1982


Rules:

Overall: Don’t be an abusive douchebag

Prologue: Be nice to your kids

Father’s Day: Forget your kids; get that cake

The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill: Just because it’s in your front yard doesn’t mean it’s worth anything

Something to Tide You Over: Don’t kill your spouse

The Crate: Kill your spouse as quickly as possible

They’re Creeping Up on You: Cleanliness is next to Godliness

Epilogue: Pick up Trash off the street

 

Quote:

Prologue: That’s why God made fathers, babe.

Father’s Day: Where’s my cake, Bedelia?

The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill: Meteor shit!

Something to Tide You Over: I can hold my breath for a long time!

The Crate: Well, two human beings and Wilma

They’re Creeping Up on You: Go out and fuck somebody, but wear a rubber, everybody’s got the herpes these days.

Poll: Rank the segments

 

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Episode 46 - Beyond Halloween (2018) HALLOWEEN BONUS EP!

Episode 46 - Beyond Halloween (2018) HALLOWEEN BONUS EP!

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond Halloween (2018)

Halloween 2018 Poster.jpg

We take a break from our Stephen King Suite to give you an early Halloween present! Our take of Halloween (2018)! Listen while your Polterguides fangirl and fanboy all over this return to Haddonfield 40 years later and the badass Strode women.

Also, we discuss movie theatre etiquette and the purpose of the back row.

 

#JamieLeeCurtisISBruceWayne

#LeavingLaurieStrode

#PaulSimonofKillinFolk

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: David Gordon Green

Written by: David Gordon Green, Danny McBride, Jeff Fradley

Released: 2018


Quote: Have you ever really liked a girl and just couldn't have her?

Rule: Don’t try to understand Michael Myers

Poll: Do you think Anti-Loomis caused the crash?

 

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Episode 45 - Beyond It - the TV Miniseries

Episode 45 - Beyond It - the TV Miniseries

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond It, the 1990 miniseries

Part of Beyond the Cabin in the Woods Stephen King Suite  

It.jpg

Your Polterguides go back to 1990 for the mini-series that spawned generations of clown phobia and one of Tim Curry’s most famous roles.

#johnboysmole

#BarkForUsClownDog!

#AllThingsServeTheBeam

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Tommy Lee Wallace

Written by: Stephen King, Tommy Lee Wallace, Lawrence D. Cohen

Released: 1990


Quote: I’m a little old for monster-hunting, Bill!

Poll: Do you think the filmmakers knew that part 2 was weaker and they included more Tim Curry to counter-act that?

Rule:

For people in the movie: Don’t be brave.

For people watching the movie: Watch the movie to the end.

 

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Episode 44 - Beyond The Nun

Episode 44 - Beyond The Nun

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond The Nun

…or as we prefer to call it: Some Nuns

The Nun.jpg

We take a break from our Stephen King Suite to take a request from a listener.

None of us liked this movie (Thanks, listener!) We do love us some Frenchy, though. Mary points the way or something. Really, we already took the hit. We watched it so you don’t have to!

 IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Corin Hardy

Written by: Gary Dauberman

Released: 2018


Quote: Holy Mother of God… Frenchy!

Poll: Do you think they were trying to make a serious horror film or a campy horror film?

Rule: If you’re a benevolent, omnipotent deity, maybe don’t require perpetual adoration to keep evil at bay.

 

#demnunstho

 

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Episode 43.5 - Beyond Kubrick's The Shining, part two

Episode 43.5 - Beyond Kubrick's The Shining, part two

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond Kubrick’s The Shining in our first two parter episode.

Part of Beyond the Cabin in the Woods Stephen King Suite

The shining yellow.jpg

We pick back up with more discussion of Jack’s typed pages. We engage in a spirited discussion of Jack Torrance’s character. We have opinion’s of Kubrick’s treatment of Shelly Duval. Also, you can really tell who’s a writer and who’s not by how they react to Jack and Wendy!


Quote: You’ve always been the caretaker, sir.

Poll: Just how early in the movie has Jack gone crazy.

Rule: Don’t go rescuing white people who voluntarily check into the hotel for the winter.

 

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Episode 43 - Beyond Kubrick's The Shining, part one

Episode 43 - Beyond Kubrick's The Shining, part one

The Stephen King Suite

The movie too big for one episode! Your polterguides were so excited about this movie that we had to break it into two eps. Part 1 is here now!

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond Kubrick’s The Shining

Part of Beyond the Cabin in the Woods Stephen King Suite

The Shining.jpg

 The Shining: Love it? Hate it?

…So do your Polterguides.

We had a lot to say about Kubrick’s take on King’s classic novel.

 

Because we suffer for our craft, we also watched the “documentary” Room 237 – which is some crazy crazy stuff.

 

#purplepenes

#fiveboding

#teamKing

#teamKubrick

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Stanley Kubrick

Written by: Stanley Kubrick and Diane Johnson, “based” on the novel by Stephen King

Released: 1980


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Episode 42 - Beyond the Legend of Hell House

Episode 42 - Beyond the Legend of Hell House

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond The Legend of Hell House

Episode four of the Haunting of the Hell  House on the Hill Suite

Hell House.jpg

After watching our fourth “trapped in a haunted house” movie, your Polterguides are ready to talk. Besides discussing Hell House, we thoroughly hash out our werewolf versus vampire preference (Donna’s personal rule: Don’t sleep with dead things).

#MaximumBrit

#Rabies

#justsaynotodeadthings

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: John Hough       

Written by: Richard Matheson

Released: 1973


Quote one: Leave a sample in the jar, please.

Quote two: YOUR MOTHER WAS A BIIIIIIIITCH!

Poll: Rank the Haunting of the Hell House on the Hill Suite

Rule: When you’re staying at a haunted for money, don’t split up, ffs!

 

 

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Episode 41 - Beyond the House on Haunted Hill

Episode 41 - Beyond the House on Haunted Hill

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond the House on Haunted Hill

The Haunting of the Hell House on the Hill suite

House on Haunted Hill.jpeg

Take a Femme Fatale, a brave and handsome test pilot, a squirrely dude, a pretty girl, and Vincent Price and what do you get? The campy and fun House on Haunted Hill. Also, a movie credit for a plastic skeleton. Seriously. It’s got it’s own IMDB page.

#vincent_price_is_not_a_terrible_man

#KenziScale

#sizzle_reel_of_despair

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: William Castle, Rosemary Horvath (uncredited)

Written by: Robb White

Released: 1959


Quote: They’re coming for me now. And then they’ll come for you.

Poll: How much money would it take for you to spend the night in a haunted house full of strangers.

Rule: There are no ways to kill your spouse and avoid suspicion.

 

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Episode 40 - Beyond the Haunting

Episode 40 - Beyond the Haunting

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond The Haunting

The Haunting.jpg

A professor invites two women to spend the night at a haunted house. What could go wrong? All of it. All of it could go wrong. We talk about the not-at-all subtle gayness of Theo, the nimbleness of Russ Tamblyn, the variability of Nell, and the spot-on mustache game of Dr. Markway.

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Robert Wise

Written by: Nelson Gidding, based on the novel by Shirley Jackson

Released: 1963


Quote (Iconic): Whatever walks there, walks alone

Quote (Less iconic, but funnier): I’m coming! I’m coming! Whatever it wants of me, it can have!

Poll: Do you try to like a classic movie because of its classic status?

Rule: Do your homework before spending the night in a haunted house.

 

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Episode 39 - Beyond THIR13EN Ghosts

Episode 39 - Beyond THIR13EN Ghosts

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond THIR13EN GHOSTS

The first of our "Haunting of the Hell House on the Hill" suite!

13 ghosts.jpg

Oh boy. Oh… boy. This movie is something else.

We start off arguing about whether THIR13EN Ghosts is like eating popcorn, or fried snickers, or fried catshit, then move on to whether Matthew Lillard is awesome or awesomely annoying. We have more plans for our eventual merch store and discuss converting spells from reel-to-reel to MP3 format.

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Steve Beck

Written by: Neal Marshall and Richard D'Ovidio

Released: 2001


Quote: Hey Glass Family Robinson, you’re wasting your time.

Poll:  Would you stay in a house that ate the key and took that long to open?

Rule: If you can be anybody, be C̶o̶o̶p̶e̶r̶   Maggie

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Episode 38 - Beyond Hereditary

Episode 38 - Beyond Hereditary

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond Hereditary

hereditary.jpg

With honorary Polterguide Ryan (check out his blog for more of Ryan)

This episode is what happens when you caffeinate your Polterguides and have them watch a movie they have strong feelings about. And we have a LOT of strong feelings about Hereditary. Grief, parenting, mental illness, and some 70’s era possession stuff along with amazing acting and cinematography.

IMDB Synopsis

Written and directed by: Ari Aster

Released: 2018


Quote: Don’t you cuss at me you little shit! …and… That fucking face on your face!

Poll: Was Gabriel Byrne (#GabrielBurnz) in on this from the beginning and just got waylaid by the fire by accident?

Rule: Have a severe nut allergy? Bring your Epipen.

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Episode 37 - Beyond The Thing

Episode 37 - Beyond The Thing

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond The Thing

The Thing.jpg

In the world of The Thing, there are no women, there are a lot of scruffy white guys, and no dog is safe. Donna was traumatized, Kenzi was delighted, Debbie stands up for gingers’ rights, and Mac realized a childhood dream in watching this film.

#thingosis

#whisky&weed

#researchingwhitedudes

#someofmybestfriendsaregingers

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: John Carpenter

Written by: Bill Lancaster

Released: 1982


Quote: Nobody trusts anybody now, and we’re all so tired.

Poll: Is the Thing a member of the crew of the ship that crashed in the opening or was it some sort of prisoner or a substance on the ship?

Auxiliary Poll: Fuck-Marry-Kill MacReady, Snake Pliskin, Jack Burton

Rule: Never accept dogs from  ̶S̶w̶e̶d̶e̶s̶ Norwegians

 

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Episode 36 - Beyond Psycho

Episode 36 - Beyond Psycho

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond Psycho

We’re all in love with Janet Leigh, Tony Perkins and John Galvin. We pan the need for the shot-for-shot remake. Mac learns what S&M really means. Problematic men of the 60’s.

Norman.jpg

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Alfred Hitchcock

Written by: Joseph Stefano, based on the novel by Robert Bloch

Released: 1960


Quote: I think that we're all in our private traps, clamped in them, and none of us can ever get out.

            Honorable mention: I’ll lick the stamps

Poll:

Rule: It’s always the nice guys™ who will stab you in the shower.

 

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Episode 35 - Beyond the Twilight Zone

Episode 35 - Beyond the Twilight Zone

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond The Twilight Zone

the twilight zone the movie.jpg

Along with Polterguest Ryan, we had a lot to say about this film – so much, we made a super-sized episode! We talk about John Landis’s involvement in the death of Vic Morrow and two child actors on the set of the film. We learn the word “Discrimiflip.” Spielberg teaches us about an overused trope. We do a great inadvertent ad for Fat Guys Burger bar (Hit us up, Fat Guys)! And so much more!

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Joe Dante, John Landis, George Miller, Steven Spielberg

Written by:  John Landis, George Clayton Johnson, Richard Matheson, Melissa Mathison, Jerome Bixby, Rod Serling

Released: 1983

Watch at your own risk: Helicopter Crash on the Set of Twilight Zone The Movie


Quotes:

Time Out: I don’t care what you gentlemen think, as long as we don’t have to listen to it.

Kick the Can: Sunnyvale Rest Home: Where hope is just a memory

It’s a good Life: Anything can happen in cartoons!

Nightmare at 20,000 Feet: You big silly, you used to be a normal person!

Overall: Hey, you want to see something really scary?

Rules:

Time Out: Don’t be a racist shitbag.

Kick the Can: When Scatman Crothers asks you to kick the can, you say yes.

It’s a good Life: Don’t go to the second location – it’s just a good rule for life.

Nightmare at 20,000 Feet: Take the aisle seat. You’ll sleep better

Overall: Don’t pick up hitchhikers.

Poll: Which classic episode should have been remade?

 

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Episode 34 - Beyond Truth or Dare

Episode 34 - Beyond Truth or Dare

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods latest episode: Truth or Dare

Truth-or-Dare-poster-1.jpg

This diverse cast of attractive young people traveled to Mexico for spring break and imitation Harry Potter introduces them into a possessed game of Truth or Dare.

Also, a mini-segment on Ready Player One.

#demonkleenex

#gatewayhorrormovie

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Jeff Wadlow

Written by: Jillian Jacobs, Michael Reisz, Christopher Roach, Jeff Wadlow

Released: 2018


Quote: I brought you all up here because I’m OK with strangers dying if it means I get to live.

Poll:

Rule: Don’t trespass disrespectfully at an abandoned church.

 

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Our music was modified from Dementia by Decomentarium and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution License.
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Episode 33 - Beyond A Quiet Place

Episode 33 - Beyond A Quiet Place

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods latest episode: A Quiet Place

A Quiet Place poster.jpg

Your Polterguides, along with Polterguest Shannon, discuss this family-centric horror film. Topics include which Star Trek character was the hottest, how to keep your fitbit happy, the fact that these characters actually had names, the untouched potato chip aisle, the amazing acting, the it-better-win-an-oscar sound design, and what in the world would possess you to get pregnant in a world where noise = death.

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by:  John Krasinski

Written by: Bryan Woods, Scott Beck, and John Krasinski

Released: 2018


Quote: I. Love. You. I have always loved you.

Poll: How long would you survive in this particular apocalyptic setting?

Rule: Supervise your children!

 

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Our logo was created by Billy Whala and Debbie Buchanan.

Some parts of it are used under a creative commons license:
Designed by Freepik
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
http://www.supercoloring.com/silhouettes/log-cabin

Our music was modified from Dementia by Decomentarium and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution License.
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

 

#beyondthecabininthewoods  #beyondthecabin  #horror, #horrorfan, #horrorfilms, #horrormovies, #horrorfanatic, #horrorjunkie, #currentlywatching, #ilovehorror, #horrorlove, #horrorfamily, #horrorgeek, #horrornerd, #horroraddict #horrorlife, #horrorfreak, #horrorclub, #AdreanMessmer, #DonnaLeahey, #KenziWhala ,#debbiebuchanan, #macboyle #SnarkCasts #gumbiecatnetwork

Episode 32 - Beyond The Cloverfield Paradox

Episode 32 - Beyond The Cloverfield Paradox

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods latest episode: The Cloverfield Paradox

The Polterguides watched Netflix’s Cloverfield Paradox. We had a lot of feelings about this movie, which mostly boil down to other movies have done the things in this movie already and done them better. It had some good points, most of them were that Chris O’Dowd was an actor in this movie. Actually, the entire cast was great.

Cloverfield.jpg

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Julius Onah

Written by: Oren Uziel and Doug Jung

Released: 2018

Quote: Earth? It’s the big, blue, ball full of angry people! / Kansas? Really? Who gives a shit?

Poll: Would you kill 3 people to save 8 billion?

Rule: We only have one Earth, please don’t fuck it up.

Auxilliary rule: Have you tried turning it off and back on again?

 

If you enjoyed this, please consider buying us a coffee? https://ko-fi.com/A487KYM

Our logo was created by Billy Whala and Debbie Buchanan.

Some parts of it are used under a creative commons license:
Designed by Freepik
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
http://www.supercoloring.com/silhouettes/log-cabin

Our music was modified from Dementia by Decomentarium and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution License.
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

 

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Episode 31 - Beyond Plan 9 from Outer Space

Episode 31 - Beyond Plan 9 from Outer Space

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods latest episode: Plan 9 from Outer Space

Plan 9 from Outer Space. Generally considered the worst movie ever made. So of course, we watched it.

1024px-Plan_nine_from_outer_space.jpg

Since the movie is in the public domain, Polterguide Mac put up a video of the full length movie with our comments over it. Beyond the Cabin in the Woods versus Plan 9 from Outer Space


This episode was an experiment. We recorded it while watching Plan 9. That means the audio from the movie is in this podcast. And that means you may enjoy the video more than the podcast by itself.

On the other hand, that means you will have watched the worst movie ever made. Sorry.

#graveyardlaw

 

IMDB Synopsis

Written and Directed by: Edward D. Wood, Jr.

Released: 1959


Quote: Remember, my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future.

Poll: Who is the Ed Wood of your friend group?

Rule: After you’ve failed through eight plans, call it a day.

 

If you enjoyed this, please consider buying us a coffee? https://ko-fi.com/A487KYM

Our logo was created by Billy Whala and Debbie Buchanan.

Some parts of it are used under a creative commons license:
Designed by Freepik
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
http://www.supercoloring.com/silhouettes/log-cabin

Our music was modified from Dementia by Decomentarium and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution License.
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

 

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Episode 30 - Beyond Annihilation

Episode 30 - Beyond Annihilation

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods latest episode: Annihilation

Annihilation.jpg

Annihilation

 

This movie is spectacularly beautiful and was abandoned at the last minute by Paramount’s publicity department. Not so much based on Jeff Vandermeer’s book as set in the roughly the same world, this movie tells the story of an expedition into the Southern Reach’s Area X.

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Alex Garland

Written by: Alex Garland based on the novel by Jeff Vandermeer  

Released: 2018


Quote: Almost none of us commit suicide, almost everyone self-destructs. Isn’t self-destruction programmed into us?

Poll: Would you go into the shimmer for your significant other?

Rule: Don’t cheat on your spouse.

 

If you enjoyed this, please consider buying us a coffee? https://ko-fi.com/A487KYM

Our logo was created by Billy Whala and Debbie Buchanan.

Some parts of it are used under a creative commons license:
Designed by Freepik
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
http://www.supercoloring.com/silhouettes/log-cabin

Our music was modified from Dementia by Decomentarium and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution License.
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

 

#beyondthecabininthewoods  #beyondthecabin  #horror, #horrorfan, #horrorfilms, #horrormovies, #horrorfanatic, #horrorjunkie, #currentlywatching, #ilovehorror, #horrorlove, #horrorfamily, #horrorgeek, #horrornerd, #horroraddict #horrorlife, #horrorfreak, #horrorclub, #AdreanMessmer, #DonnaLeahey, #KenziWhala ,#debbiebuchanan, #SnarkCasts #gumbiecatnetwork

Episode 29 - Beyond Winchester

Episode 29 - Beyond Winchester

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods latest episode: Winchester

Winchester poster.jpg

Listen, we understand. By the time this episode goes up, you’ve already forgotten that a movie named Winchester ever existed. If it helps, we spend a lot of time talking about other movies (Terminator, Alien, Scooby Doo, Caligula, and so many more…)

Seriously, don’t worry about watching the movie first. Sure, we spoil the hell out of it, but were you really planning to see it anyway?

So, listen to this episode because you love our sparkling personalities!

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: The Spierig Brothers

Written by: Tim Vaugn and the Spierig Brothers

Released 2018:


Quote: It’s quite a special house, isn’t it? That, ma’am, is beyond dispute.

Poll:  Was this movie doomed from the start, or was a victim of a studio didn’t believe in it?

Rule: Reload the bullet – if you’ve ever been shot to death and recovered.

 

If you enjoyed this, please consider buying us a coffee? https://ko-fi.com/A487KYM

Our logo was created by Billy Whala and Debbie Buchanan.

Some parts of it are used under a creative commons license:
Designed by Freepik
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
http://www.supercoloring.com/silhouettes/log-cabin

Our music was modified from Dementia by Decomentarium and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution License.
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

 

#beyondthecabininthewoods  #beyondthecabin  #horror, #horrorfan, #horrorfilms, #horrormovies, #horrorfanatic, #horrorjunkie, #currentlywatching, #ilovehorror, #horrorlove, #horrorfamily, #horrorgeek, #horrornerd, #horroraddict #horrorlife, #horrorfreak, #horrorclub, #AdreanMessmer, #DonnaLeahey, #KenziWhala ,#debbiebuchanan, #SnarkCasts #gumbiecatnetwork