Episode 53 - Beyond the Horror of Dracula

Episode 53 - Beyond the Horror of Dracula

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond the Horror of Dracula

The Dracula Suite

More discussion of Hudson Hawk than you would have anticipated.

 

Horror of Dracula.jpg

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Terence Fisher

Written by: Jimmy Sangster

Released: 1958


Quote: Of course you’re shocked and bewildered!

Poll: How would this story have played out differently if they’d told Mina about Dracula?

Rule: Always kill Dracula first

 

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Beyond the Cabin Survived 2018

Beyond the Cabin Survived 2018

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond 2018

BtCitW survived.png

Your polterguides discuss our favorite movies of 2018, our least favs, and what we’re looking forward to in 2019. Also, we revisit Polterguides Donna’s aversion to sleeping with dead things. Is a hypothetical vampiric Oscar Isaac an exception to the rule? Listen and see!

#Donnadoesntsleepwithdeadthings

#macisnotopposed

#adreanisintoit

Episode 52 - Beyond Dracula (1931)

Episode 52 - Beyond Dracula (1931)

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond Dracula (1931)

The Dracula Suite

dracula poster.jpg

Short little episode for our next Dracula Suite outing – 1931’s Dracula. Come for the bat puppet, stay for Bela Lugosi’s intense eyes.

Be sure to stick around for round two of Polterguide Marry/Fuck/Kill!

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Tod Browning

Written by: Bram Stoker, Hamilton Deane, John L. Balderston

Released: 1931


Quote: Wine? I never drink… wine

Poll: Marry/fuck/kill: Dracula, Renfield, Harker

Rule: When the creepy guy envelopes you in his cape, stop trying to sell him a flower!

 

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Episode 51 - Beyond Nosferatu

Episode 51 - Beyond Nosferatu

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond Nosferatu

nosferatu.jpg

Join your polterguides as they delve into a movie with title cards and music that doesn’t know what’s going on. Also, a movie made in Germany in 1922 has some anti-Semitism? No way!

#redwings

#accusing_notcosigning

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: F.W. Murnau

Written by: Henrick Galeen

Released: 1922


Quote: Is this your wife? What a lovely…. throat

Poll: Would you offer yourself to Nosferatu?

Rule: Don’t forget the day cock!

 

 

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Episode 50 - Beyond Boys in the Trees

Episode 50 - Beyond Boys in the Trees

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond Boys in the Trees

For Christmas we bring you this episode about friendship.

CONTENT WARNING: there is discussion of suicide, sexual assault, bullying and other challenging subjects in this episode.

Because Merry Christmas?

boys in the trees poster.jpg

This homage to the 90’s explores friendship and dreams and childhood. It’s not really a horror movie, no matter what Netflix says, but it’s a good film.

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Nicholas Verso

Written by: Nicholas Verso

Released: 2016

BIG IMPORTANT SPOILERS IN THE RULE/POLL/QUOTE

STOP READING IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE MOVIE YET


Quote: You can’t have a good story without a dead body.

Poll: When did you realize Jonah was dead?

Rule: Don’t abandon your friend when he needs you.

 

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Episode 49 - Beyond Carrie

Episode 49 - Beyond Carrie

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond Carrie (1976)

The Stephen King Suite

In this episode, we learn where the Polterguides went to high school, how to keep up with pubic hair trends, and that Carrie White is a Targaryen – she destroys her enemies with fire and blood.

Carrie  Poster.jpg

 

#70sbush

#somuchpubichair

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Brian De Palma

Written by: Lawrence D. Cohen, Stephen King

Released: 1976           


Quote: Here little piggy... I'm gonna bash your little head in, and you don't have to worry about the bomb no more!

Poll 1: Could you have asked your significant other to take Carrie to the prom?

Poll 2: Who were you in high school, Carrie? Sue? Chris?

Rule: Just let it go.

 

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Episode 48 - Beyond Pet Sematary (1989)

Episode 48 - Beyond Pet Sematary (1989)

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond Pet Sematary

The Stephen King Suite

We liked this movie but are angry that this is the movie that took Tasha Yar from us.  

 

 

IMDB Synopsis

 

Directed by: Mary Lambert

Written by: Stephen King

Released: 1989

 


Quote: I played with Jud and I played with Mommy and now I wanna play with you.

Poll: How far back does the Sematary’s plan go?

Rule: Build a fence. If you live on a busy road where deadly fast trucks are zooming by and you can’t see them because them because of tree overgrowth and you’ve got small children who might run into the road without warning, build a fucking fence.

 

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Episode 47 - Beyond Creepshow

Episode 47 - Beyond Creepshow

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond Creepshow

Halloween Bonus Episode!

the creep.jpg

Your Polterguides took the opportunity to watch this 1982 anthology classic in a theatre on 35 mm and saved it for you as a special Halloween treat.

 IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: George A. Romero

Written by: Stephen King

Released: 1982


Rules:

Overall: Don’t be an abusive douchebag

Prologue: Be nice to your kids

Father’s Day: Forget your kids; get that cake

The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill: Just because it’s in your front yard doesn’t mean it’s worth anything

Something to Tide You Over: Don’t kill your spouse

The Crate: Kill your spouse as quickly as possible

They’re Creeping Up on You: Cleanliness is next to Godliness

Epilogue: Pick up Trash off the street

 

Quote:

Prologue: That’s why God made fathers, babe.

Father’s Day: Where’s my cake, Bedelia?

The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill: Meteor shit!

Something to Tide You Over: I can hold my breath for a long time!

The Crate: Well, two human beings and Wilma

They’re Creeping Up on You: Go out and fuck somebody, but wear a rubber, everybody’s got the herpes these days.

Poll: Rank the segments

 

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leslie.jpg

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Episode 46 - Beyond Halloween (2018) HALLOWEEN BONUS EP!

Episode 46 - Beyond Halloween (2018) HALLOWEEN BONUS EP!

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond Halloween (2018)

Halloween 2018 Poster.jpg

We take a break from our Stephen King Suite to give you an early Halloween present! Our take of Halloween (2018)! Listen while your Polterguides fangirl and fanboy all over this return to Haddonfield 40 years later and the badass Strode women.

Also, we discuss movie theatre etiquette and the purpose of the back row.

 

#JamieLeeCurtisISBruceWayne

#LeavingLaurieStrode

#PaulSimonofKillinFolk

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: David Gordon Green

Written by: David Gordon Green, Danny McBride, Jeff Fradley

Released: 2018


Quote: Have you ever really liked a girl and just couldn't have her?

Rule: Don’t try to understand Michael Myers

Poll: Do you think Anti-Loomis caused the crash?

 

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Episode 45 - Beyond It - the TV Miniseries

Episode 45 - Beyond It - the TV Miniseries

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond It, the 1990 miniseries

Part of Beyond the Cabin in the Woods Stephen King Suite  

It.jpg

Your Polterguides go back to 1990 for the mini-series that spawned generations of clown phobia and one of Tim Curry’s most famous roles.

#johnboysmole

#BarkForUsClownDog!

#AllThingsServeTheBeam

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Tommy Lee Wallace

Written by: Stephen King, Tommy Lee Wallace, Lawrence D. Cohen

Released: 1990


Quote: I’m a little old for monster-hunting, Bill!

Poll: Do you think the filmmakers knew that part 2 was weaker and they included more Tim Curry to counter-act that?

Rule:

For people in the movie: Don’t be brave.

For people watching the movie: Watch the movie to the end.

 

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Episode 44 - Beyond The Nun

Episode 44 - Beyond The Nun

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond The Nun

…or as we prefer to call it: Some Nuns

The Nun.jpg

We take a break from our Stephen King Suite to take a request from a listener.

None of us liked this movie (Thanks, listener!) We do love us some Frenchy, though. Mary points the way or something. Really, we already took the hit. We watched it so you don’t have to!

 IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Corin Hardy

Written by: Gary Dauberman

Released: 2018


Quote: Holy Mother of God… Frenchy!

Poll: Do you think they were trying to make a serious horror film or a campy horror film?

Rule: If you’re a benevolent, omnipotent deity, maybe don’t require perpetual adoration to keep evil at bay.

 

#demnunstho

 

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Episode 43.5 - Beyond Kubrick's The Shining, part two

Episode 43.5 - Beyond Kubrick's The Shining, part two

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond Kubrick’s The Shining in our first two parter episode.

Part of Beyond the Cabin in the Woods Stephen King Suite

The shining yellow.jpg

We pick back up with more discussion of Jack’s typed pages. We engage in a spirited discussion of Jack Torrance’s character. We have opinion’s of Kubrick’s treatment of Shelly Duval. Also, you can really tell who’s a writer and who’s not by how they react to Jack and Wendy!


Quote: You’ve always been the caretaker, sir.

Poll: Just how early in the movie has Jack gone crazy.

Rule: Don’t go rescuing white people who voluntarily check into the hotel for the winter.

 

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Episode 43 - Beyond Kubrick's The Shining, part one

Episode 43 - Beyond Kubrick's The Shining, part one

The Stephen King Suite

The movie too big for one episode! Your polterguides were so excited about this movie that we had to break it into two eps. Part 1 is here now!

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond Kubrick’s The Shining

Part of Beyond the Cabin in the Woods Stephen King Suite

The Shining.jpg

 The Shining: Love it? Hate it?

…So do your Polterguides.

We had a lot to say about Kubrick’s take on King’s classic novel.

 

Because we suffer for our craft, we also watched the “documentary” Room 237 – which is some crazy crazy stuff.

 

#purplepenes

#fiveboding

#teamKing

#teamKubrick

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Stanley Kubrick

Written by: Stanley Kubrick and Diane Johnson, “based” on the novel by Stephen King

Released: 1980


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Episode 42 - Beyond the Legend of Hell House

Episode 42 - Beyond the Legend of Hell House

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond The Legend of Hell House

Episode four of the Haunting of the Hell  House on the Hill Suite

Hell House.jpg

After watching our fourth “trapped in a haunted house” movie, your Polterguides are ready to talk. Besides discussing Hell House, we thoroughly hash out our werewolf versus vampire preference (Donna’s personal rule: Don’t sleep with dead things).

#MaximumBrit

#Rabies

#justsaynotodeadthings

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: John Hough       

Written by: Richard Matheson

Released: 1973


Quote one: Leave a sample in the jar, please.

Quote two: YOUR MOTHER WAS A BIIIIIIIITCH!

Poll: Rank the Haunting of the Hell House on the Hill Suite

Rule: When you’re staying at a haunted for money, don’t split up, ffs!

 

 

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Episode 41 - Beyond the House on Haunted Hill

Episode 41 - Beyond the House on Haunted Hill

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond the House on Haunted Hill

The Haunting of the Hell House on the Hill suite

House on Haunted Hill.jpeg

Take a Femme Fatale, a brave and handsome test pilot, a squirrely dude, a pretty girl, and Vincent Price and what do you get? The campy and fun House on Haunted Hill. Also, a movie credit for a plastic skeleton. Seriously. It’s got it’s own IMDB page.

#vincent_price_is_not_a_terrible_man

#KenziScale

#sizzle_reel_of_despair

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: William Castle, Rosemary Horvath (uncredited)

Written by: Robb White

Released: 1959


Quote: They’re coming for me now. And then they’ll come for you.

Poll: How much money would it take for you to spend the night in a haunted house full of strangers.

Rule: There are no ways to kill your spouse and avoid suspicion.

 

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Episode 40 - Beyond the Haunting

Episode 40 - Beyond the Haunting

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond The Haunting

The Haunting.jpg

A professor invites two women to spend the night at a haunted house. What could go wrong? All of it. All of it could go wrong. We talk about the not-at-all subtle gayness of Theo, the nimbleness of Russ Tamblyn, the variability of Nell, and the spot-on mustache game of Dr. Markway.

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Robert Wise

Written by: Nelson Gidding, based on the novel by Shirley Jackson

Released: 1963


Quote (Iconic): Whatever walks there, walks alone

Quote (Less iconic, but funnier): I’m coming! I’m coming! Whatever it wants of me, it can have!

Poll: Do you try to like a classic movie because of its classic status?

Rule: Do your homework before spending the night in a haunted house.

 

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Episode 39 - Beyond THIR13EN Ghosts

Episode 39 - Beyond THIR13EN Ghosts

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond THIR13EN GHOSTS

The first of our "Haunting of the Hell House on the Hill" suite!

13 ghosts.jpg

Oh boy. Oh… boy. This movie is something else.

We start off arguing about whether THIR13EN Ghosts is like eating popcorn, or fried snickers, or fried catshit, then move on to whether Matthew Lillard is awesome or awesomely annoying. We have more plans for our eventual merch store and discuss converting spells from reel-to-reel to MP3 format.

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Steve Beck

Written by: Neal Marshall and Richard D'Ovidio

Released: 2001


Quote: Hey Glass Family Robinson, you’re wasting your time.

Poll:  Would you stay in a house that ate the key and took that long to open?

Rule: If you can be anybody, be C̶o̶o̶p̶e̶r̶   Maggie

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Episode 38 - Beyond Hereditary

Episode 38 - Beyond Hereditary

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond Hereditary

hereditary.jpg

With honorary Polterguide Ryan (check out his blog for more of Ryan)

This episode is what happens when you caffeinate your Polterguides and have them watch a movie they have strong feelings about. And we have a LOT of strong feelings about Hereditary. Grief, parenting, mental illness, and some 70’s era possession stuff along with amazing acting and cinematography.

IMDB Synopsis

Written and directed by: Ari Aster

Released: 2018


Quote: Don’t you cuss at me you little shit! …and… That fucking face on your face!

Poll: Was Gabriel Byrne (#GabrielBurnz) in on this from the beginning and just got waylaid by the fire by accident?

Rule: Have a severe nut allergy? Bring your Epipen.

If you enjoyed this, please consider buying us a coffee? https://ko-fi.com/A487KYM

Our logo was created by Billy Whala and Debbie Buchanan.

Some parts of it are used under a creative commons license:
Designed by Freepik
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
http://www.supercoloring.com/silhouettes/log-cabin

Our music was modified from Dementia by Decomentarium and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution License.
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

#beyondthecabininthewoods  #beyondthecabin  #horror, #horrorfan, #horrorfilms, #horrormovies, #horrorfanatic, #horrorjunkie, #currentlywatching, #ilovehorror, #horrorlove, #horrorfamily, #horrorgeek, #horrornerd, #horroraddict #horrorlife, #horrorfreak, #horrorclub, #AdreanMessmer, #DonnaLeahey, #KenziWhala ,#debbiebuchanan, #macboyle #SnarkCasts #gumbiecatnetwork

Episode 37 - Beyond The Thing

Episode 37 - Beyond The Thing

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond The Thing

The Thing.jpg

In the world of The Thing, there are no women, there are a lot of scruffy white guys, and no dog is safe. Donna was traumatized, Kenzi was delighted, Debbie stands up for gingers’ rights, and Mac realized a childhood dream in watching this film.

#thingosis

#whisky&weed

#researchingwhitedudes

#someofmybestfriendsaregingers

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: John Carpenter

Written by: Bill Lancaster

Released: 1982


Quote: Nobody trusts anybody now, and we’re all so tired.

Poll: Is the Thing a member of the crew of the ship that crashed in the opening or was it some sort of prisoner or a substance on the ship?

Auxiliary Poll: Fuck-Marry-Kill MacReady, Snake Pliskin, Jack Burton

Rule: Never accept dogs from  ̶S̶w̶e̶d̶e̶s̶ Norwegians

 

If you enjoyed this, please consider buying us a coffee? https://ko-fi.com/A487KYM

Our logo was created by Billy Whala and Debbie Buchanan.

Some parts of it are used under a creative commons license:
Designed by Freepik
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
http://www.supercoloring.com/silhouettes/log-cabin

Our music was modified from Dementia by Decomentarium and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution License.
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

 

#beyondthecabininthewoods  #beyondthecabin  #horror, #horrorfan, #horrorfilms, #horrormovies, #horrorfanatic, #horrorjunkie, #currentlywatching, #ilovehorror, #horrorlove, #horrorfamily, #horrorgeek, #horrornerd, #horroraddict #horrorlife, #horrorfreak, #horrorclub, #AdreanMessmer, #DonnaLeahey, #KenziWhala ,#debbiebuchanan, #macboyle #SnarkCasts #gumbiecatnetwork

Episode 36 - Beyond Psycho

Episode 36 - Beyond Psycho

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond Psycho

We’re all in love with Janet Leigh, Tony Perkins and John Galvin. We pan the need for the shot-for-shot remake. Mac learns what S&M really means. Problematic men of the 60’s.

Norman.jpg

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Alfred Hitchcock

Written by: Joseph Stefano, based on the novel by Robert Bloch

Released: 1960


Quote: I think that we're all in our private traps, clamped in them, and none of us can ever get out.

            Honorable mention: I’ll lick the stamps

Poll:

Rule: It’s always the nice guys™ who will stab you in the shower.

 

If you enjoyed this, please consider buying us a coffee? https://ko-fi.com/A487KYM

Our logo was created by Billy Whala and Debbie Buchanan.

Some parts of it are used under a creative commons license:
Designed by Freepik
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
http://www.supercoloring.com/silhouettes/log-cabin

psycho poster.jpg

Our music was modified from Dementia by Decomentarium and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution License.
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

 

#beyondthecabininthewoods  #beyondthecabin  #horror, #horrorfan, #horrorfilms, #horrormovies, #horrorfanatic, #horrorjunkie, #currentlywatching, #ilovehorror, #horrorlove, #horrorfamily, #horrorgeek, #horrornerd, #horroraddict #horrorlife, #horrorfreak, #horrorclub, #AdreanMessmer, #DonnaLeahey, #KenziWhala ,#debbiebuchanan, #macboyle #SnarkCasts #gumbiecatnetwork