Bride of Frankenstein

Bride of Frankenstein

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Your Polterguides would like to apologize in advance for their rendition of “There’s a Light.” We’re so sorry.

The Polterguides watched the Universal Classic Bride of Frankenstein.  The 1935 classic holds up amazingly well after more than 80 years. Your Polterguides loved Mary Shelly’s sass, Dr. Praetorius’ little people in jars, and what actually went into the new monster’s brain.

If you haven’t seen Bride, SEE IT. You’ll notice its influence on everything from Weird Science to the Rocky Horror Picture Show (hence the weird cat-like screeching we subject you to at the beginning).

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: James Whale

Written by: William Hurlbutt, based on the story by Mary Shelly

Released: 1935


Quote: To a new world of gods and monsters. Mwua ha ha ha!

Poll:  Which is scarier – Monsters? Or Man?

Rule: Make sure people want to be your friend.

 

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BtCitW Survived 2017!

BtCitW Survived 2017!

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Your Poulterguides review 2017, our fav movies, our fav episodes, and what we're looking forward to in 2018.

Adrean couldn't be with us for the recording, but we have a special Adrean segment added in.

Enjoy, and, hey! Check us out on Twitter, Facebook, or Insta and tell us what you're looking forward to. Let us know if you have a suggestion for a movie we need to see.

Gremlins

Gremlins

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Hey, Merry Christmas to all our good Ghouls out there! Here’s a bonus Christmas episode for you! We watched Gremlins, surely one of the most classic of classic Christmas movies! Your Polterguides talk Gremlins trivia, from spider monkeys in gremlin costume to malfunctioning Gizmo robots and how remarkably progressive this movie is.

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Joe Dante

Written by: Chris Columbus

Released: 1984


Quote: You know, I bet every kid in America is gonna want one of these.

Poll: Why is Gizmo good?

Rule: Just follow the rules

 

 

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A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

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Your Polterguides along with polterguest Mac watched the 1984 classic A Nightmare on Elm Street.

We talk about our own bad dreams, crop tops for men, Johnny Depps career arc, and the beauty of good practical effects.

 

Dear David

The Perils of Being Disbelieved (Why didn’t you believe her?)

IMDB Synopsis

 

Written and directed by: Wes Craven

Released: 1984


Quote: God, I look twenty years old!

Poll: What the hell actually happened at the end?

Rule: When being chased by a monster, just rewatch Home Alone (but give yourself more than 20 minutes!)

 

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Rob Zombie's Halloween (2007)

Rob Zombie's Halloween (2007)

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With Polterguest Mac, we discuss the Rob Zombie take on Halloween, which we dub the Michael Myers Origin Story. Bloodier and grittier than the Carpenter version, Zombie turns Michael Myers from an inhuman monster into a sympathetic victim of his own upbringing.

  IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Rob Zombie

Written by: Rob Zombie, based on the screenplay by John Carpenter and Debra Hill

Released: 2007


Quote: You and that army of shirt-tuckers up there, you know exactly where he’s going!

Poll: What horror movie would you like to see Rob Zombie remake?

Rule: All any monster needs is a good hug.

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Gerald's Game

Gerald's Game

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Your Polterguides talk about Gerald’s Game.  We talk about kink-shaming, really offensive jokes, more kink-shaming, the need for frank conversation about sexy-time adventures, appropriate packing of sex toys, good doggos v. bad doggos, and Stephen King projects in general.

 

IMDB Synopsis

Written and Directed by: Mike Flanagan

Released: 2017


Quote: I’m pretty sure you just lost your mind. Seeing a dog eating your husband will do that.

Poll: How would you have attempted to escape.

Rule: Have a safe word. Respect the safe word.

 

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Happy Death Day

Happy Death Day

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Groundhog Day in college with murder. We talk about our Hogwarts houses, our college experiences, problems with purchasing women’s pants, availability of Vans, and a few things we just saw really differently.

 

IMDB Synopsis

Director: Christopher Landon

Writer: Scott Lobdell

Released: 2017


Quote: How do you not know who Bill Murray is?

Poll: Would you have eaten the cupcake?

Rule: Don’t be a dick (aka the Wheaton Rule)

 

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Trick 'r Treat

Trick 'r Treat

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Because we love you, our good ghouls, we’re releasing an extra episode – about the fantastic Trick ‘r Treat. Four interwoven stories in a town with a dark past that celebrates Halloween with a passion. It’s fast paced and well written, with surprises and scares and the adorable Sam, the murderous Halloween spirit who enforces the traditions of the holiday.

 

IMDB Synopsis

Written and directed by: Michael Dougherty

Air date: 2007


Quote: Oh yeah, there’s another tradition. Always check your candy.

Poll: If you were Rhonda, would you have let those kids back on the elevator?

Rule: Respect the Holiday; Don’t break the rules

 

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Halloween III

Halloween III

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Halloween III. Oh, Halloween III. Tom Atkins (Atkins with a T!) and his mustache against the forces of Celtic Evil.

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This movie took Carpenter and Hill back to their original vision of the Halloween movies as an anthology, but by that time, everyone expected Michael Meyers, and the movie didn’t do well due to that lack.

Still, there’s some good stuff in here – the amazing cinematography of the trick-or-treating shots, a couple of nice surprise twists, and some truly gruesome stakes.

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IMDB Synopsis

Directed and written by: Tommy Lee Wallace

Air date: 1982


Quote: I do love a good joke. And this is the best ever. A joke on the children.

Poll: Which mask would you have chosen? Witch, Skull, or Jack-O-Lantern?

Rule: Have a relationship with your ex, where they’ll believe you when you call them up and say something crazy.

 

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Season of the Witch - Donovan

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Beyond the Cabin - Halloween

Beyond the Cabin - Halloween

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Your polterguides went old school. Back to 1978 for John Carpenter’s Halloween. We discuss the tropes that are so new they haven’t become tropes yet, like the sin rule and the final girl. We wonder how Michael learned to drive, how he found his way home, and the relative artistic merit of leaving a guy impaled on a kitchen cabinet rather than hanging upside down in a linen closet. Also, the unnecessary treatment of good, good doggos.

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: John Carpenter

Written by: John Carpenter and Debra Hill

Released: 1978


Quote: Death has come to your little town.

Poll: Would you continue to drive up to the mental hospital if you saw the patients walking around?

Rule: Check your kill!

 

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The Rules - How to Survive a Horror Movie

The Rules - How to Survive a Horror Movie

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1.      Don't read the Latin (Cabin in the Woods)

2.      (They Live!)

a.       Don't wear mom jeans

b.      Don't follow the girl who clearly doesn't like you.

3.      Always make sure someone knows where you are! (Get Out)

4.      Don't have unprotected sex with a werewolf. Or with anyone. Don't have unprotected sex, you guys. (Ginger Snaps)

5.      (Prometheus)

a.       Do not remove your headgear!

b.      DTtA! Don't trust the android (does not apply to Data)

6.      If it needs to drink my blood to live, let it die! (Little Shop of Horrors)

7.      Don't run towards the guy in the cabin shooting at you! (Evil Dead 2)

8.      Call the police. (Tucker and Dale vs Evil)

9.      Don't say it. Don't write. Don't hear it. (Evil Dead 2013)

10.  Don't go out in the woods barefoot and wearing only your undies. Put on some pants! And Shoes! (Friday the 13th)

11.  Don't sleep with the television on. (Poltergeist 1982)

12.  Don't lie to your wife. Or your husband. Or your spouse in general. Or your significant other. Don't lie, you guys. (The Omen)

13.  XX (2017)

a.       Don't look in the box. (The Box)

b.      The Weekend at Bernies Scheme never works. (The Birthday Party)

c.       Don't trust the gas station attendant when looking for a campsite. (Don't Fall)

d.      If your child is the son of the devil, maybe don't wait until he's 18 to do something about that. (Her Only Living Son (aka What if Charles Grodin's character from Rosemary's Baby had lived))

14.  Stick to the plan! (Dawn of the Dead)

15.  Don't take anything from someone in a place it is physically impossible to get to. (It - 2017)

16.  Be Cooper. If you're gonna be anybody, be Cooper. (Event Horizon)

17. Check your kill! (Halloween)

18. Have a relationship with your in which they'll believe you if you call them up and say something crazy. (Halloween III)

19. Respect the holiday. Obey its rules (Trick 'r Treat)

 

 

Event Horizon

Event Horizon

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The Polterguides took a ride on the Event Horizon. We talk about the interesting marketing choices that doomed the movie to failure, the weird dystopian future with really ugly underwear, inappropriate use of surgical equipment as weaponry, and whether or not Cooper is in the wrong movie.

 

IMDB Synopsis

 

Director: Paul W.S. Anderson (as Paul Anderson)

Writer: Philip Eisner

Released: 1997


Quote: Where we’re going, we don’t need eyes.

Poll: Do you think they made it out? Are they safe?

Rule: Be Cooper. If you’re gonna be anybody, be Cooper.

 

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It (2017)

It (2017)

Here there be spoilers!

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This film, based on Stephen King’s book of the same name, speaks for itself. The acting, especially on the part of the kids, is amazing. We loved this film.

IMDB Synopsis

For the I Am D.B. synopsis, check Insta!

Directed by: Andy Muschietti

Written by: Chase Palmer, Cary Fukunaga, Gary Dauberman

Based on the novel by Stephen King

Released: 2017


Quote: Go blow your dad, you mullet-wearing asshole!

Poll: What would It show you?

Rule: Don’t take anything from someone in a place it is physically impossible to get to.

 

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Dawn of the Dead (2004)

Dawn of the Dead (2004)

Boy, did we have a great time talking about this remake of the 1978 classic, Dawn of the Dead.

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The soundtrack, the writing, the acting, the cast, whether CJ deserved redemption, whether Luda knew what was happening, the relationship between Kenneth and Andy, survival instinct, and the importance of the dog’s survival.

This is a long one, folks, and we had a lot to say.

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Zack Snyder

Written by: James Gunn, George A Romero

Released: 2004


Quote: Say something!

Polls:   Would you have let the people in the truck in?

            Could you kill someone who had been bitten but was not yet dead?

            Should they have left the mall?

Rule: Stick to the plan!

 

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XX

XX

XX is an anthology horror film featuring stories about women directed by women. Your polterguides found it entertaining, if a bit frustrating here and there. We discuss Donna’s strong feelings about Jack Ketchum, Adrean’s strong feelings about selecting someone who doesn’t like horror to write and direct a horror story, Debbie’s approving feelings about the depiction of depression and Kenzi’s strong feelings about retelling Rosemary’s baby,

Not to mention all our strong feelings about the surprisingly touching story of the little stop motion creepy doll.

Give the movie a watch. It’s entertaining, even if we feel that “women” isn’t really a theme.

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Roxanne Benjamin, Karyn Kusama, St. Vincent, Jovanka Vuckovic

Written by: Jack Ketchum, Jovanka Vuckovic, Roxanne Benjamin, St. Vincent, Roxanne Benjamin, Karyn Kusama

Released: 2017


Quote: The Birthday Party, or, The Memory Lucy Suppressed from Her Seventh Birthday That Wasn't Really Her Mom's Fault (Even Though Her Therapist Says It's Probably Why She Fears Intimacy).

Rules:

The Box: Don’t look in the box.

The Birthday Party: The Weekend at Bernie’s scheme never works.

Don’t Fall: Don’t trust the gas station attendant when looking for a campsite

Her Only Living Son (or What if Charles Grodin' s character from Rosemary's Baby had lived): If your child is the son of the devil, maybe don't wait till he's 18 to do something about that.

 

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 #beyondthecabin

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The Omen

The Omen

With Polterguide Kenzi away, we brought in polterguest Rob who suggested the 1976 iconic movie, The Omen.

We discuss super cuddly, friendly happy-panting hellhounds, Gregory Peck’s unbreakably stoic expression, how long the evil nanny would have still had a job if she worked for us,  whether Damien is actually evil, and the 2nd Doctor’s turn as a doomed priest.

 

Quote: Don’t let him kill me!

Poll: Would you have adopted that child?

Rule: Don’t lie to your wife. Or your husband. Or your spouse in general. Or your significant other.

Rob's kickstarter for Ruined My Rhythm, vol 2

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Richard Donner 

Written by: David Seltzer

Released: 1976


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Poltergeist

Poltergeist

What happens when you take a group of polterguides who haven’t seen each other for over a month, sit them down in front of one of their favorite nostalgic horror flicks, and then highly caffeinate them?

This podcast!

We talk fast, we talk long, and we talk hard. Rumors of who really directed, the Poltergeist “curse,” how old Diane must’ve been when Dana was born, that clown, that tree, that piece of meat, cat-calling, proper storage of your stash (not scattered across your bedspread), that orange jersey, keeping track of your kids, and more.

Guys, we really enjoy this movie.

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Tobe Hooper

Written by: Steven Spielberg, Michael Grais, Mark Victor

Released: 1982


Quote: You moved the cemetery, but you left the bodies, didn't you? You son of a bitch, you left the bodies and you only moved the headstones! You only moved the headstones!

Poll: Would you have approached that crawling steak on the counter?

Rule: Don’t sleep with the television on.

 

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Our music was modified from Dementia by Decomentarium and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution License.
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

 

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Friday the 13th (1980)

Friday the 13th (1980)

It's 12:15 in the morning. We just watched our 4th horror movie in 10 hours. We're sleepy, yet surprisingly coherent. Also, this movie made Debbie yell a cuss very loudly.

Our fourth episode in Beyond the Cabin the Woods in an actual cabin in the woods marathon. The 1980 classic Friday the 13th was one of the original slasher flix, and it shows in its pacing and execution. A young Kevin Bacon appears in a speedo, the “jester” character displays culturally insensitive behavior, the final girl (whose name we just couldn’t remember because the most interesting character was killed in the first 10 minutes) battles for her life.

Then… we turned off the mic and went to sleep. *yawn*

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Sean S. Cunningham    

Written by: Victor Miller, story by Sean S. Cunningham and Victor Miller, Ron Kurtz (uncredited)

Released: 1980


Quote: We ain’t gonna stand for no weirdness out here.

Poll: If all the locals tell you “here lies death,” would you still go to the camp?

Rule: Don’t go out in the woods barefoot and wearing only your undies. Put on some pants and shoes!

 

Our logo was created by Billy Whala and Debbie Buchanan.

Some parts of it are used under a creative commons license:
Designed by Freepik
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
http://www.supercoloring.com/silhouettes/log-cabin

Our music was modified from Dementia by Decomentarium and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution License.
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

 

#beyondthecabininthewoods  #beyondthecabin  #horror, #horrorfan, #horrorfilms, #horrormovies, #horrorfanatic, #horrorjunkie, #currentlywatching, #ilovehorror, #horrorlove, #horrorfamily, #horrorgeek, #horrornerd, #horroraddict #horrorlife, #horrorfreak, #horrorclub, #AdreanMessmer, #DonnaLeahey, #KenziWhala ,#debbiebuchanan, #SnarkCasts #gumbiecatnetwork

Evil Dead (2013)

Evil Dead (2013)

Cabins and Chainsaws Suite #3

Evil Dead (2013)

Your polterguides are on hour seven and horror movie number three while staying in an actual Cabin in the Woods (with wind and rain and darkness and strange scratchy noises coming from the front door. It was super creepy, y’all).

This gore-fest of a film remade Sam Raimi’s original Evil Dead with a lot of nods to the original while still going off on its own creepy, body-horror way and giving us the occasional surprise.

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Fede Alvarez

Written by: Fede Alvarez & Rodo Sayagues, based on Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead.

Released: 2013


Quote: She just cut off her fucking arm! Does that sound “fine?”

Poll: Would you be able to cut off your arm?
         Would you read the book?

Rule: Don’t say it. Don’t write it. Don’t hear it.

Our logo was created by Billy Whala and Debbie Buchanan.

Some parts of it are used under a creative commons license:
Designed by Freepik
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
http://www.supercoloring.com/silhouettes/log-cabin

Our music was modified from Dementia by Decomentarium and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution License.
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

 

#beyondthecabininthewoods  #beyondthecabin  #horror, #horrorfan, #horrorfilms, #horrormovies, #horrorfanatic, #horrorjunkie, #currentlywatching, #ilovehorror, #horrorlove, #horrorfamily, #horrorgeek, #horrornerd, #horroraddict #horrorlife, #horrorfreak, #horrorclub, #AdreanMessmer, #DonnaLeahey, #KenziWhala ,#debbiebuchanan, #SnarkCasts #GUMBIECATNETWORKS

Tucker and Dale vs Evil

Cabins and Chainsaws suite #2

Your polterguides survived their ordeal in the cabin (...or did we?) and watched Tucker and Dale vs Evil.

Then we talked about a lot of things: growing up in the country, dad lawn-mowing techniques, things not to put on your animals' wounds, seeking medical attention after loss of consciousnesss, towns in Oklahoma, and, sometimes, we talked about Tucker and Dale vs Evil.



Alan Tudyk voice over video

 

Tucker and Dale vs Evil
Director: Eli Craig
Writers: Eli Craig, Morgan Jurgenson

Quote: We’re having a doozy of a day.

Poll: If a guy who looked like Dale walked over to you holding a scythe, would you have talked to him?

Rule: Call the police.