Episode 41 - Beyond the House on Haunted Hill

Episode 41 - Beyond the House on Haunted Hill

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond the House on Haunted Hill

The Haunting of the Hell House on the Hill suite

House on Haunted Hill.jpeg

Take a Femme Fatale, a brave and handsome test pilot, a squirrely dude, a pretty girl, and Vincent Price and what do you get? The campy and fun House on Haunted Hill. Also, a movie credit for a plastic skeleton. Seriously. It’s got it’s own IMDB page.

#vincent_price_is_not_a_terrible_man

#KenziScale

#sizzle_reel_of_despair

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: William Castle, Rosemary Horvath (uncredited)

Written by: Robb White

Released: 1959


Quote: They’re coming for me now. And then they’ll come for you.

Poll: How much money would it take for you to spend the night in a haunted house full of strangers.

Rule: There are no ways to kill your spouse and avoid suspicion.

 

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Episode 40 - Beyond the Haunting

Episode 40 - Beyond the Haunting

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond The Haunting

The Haunting.jpg

A professor invites two women to spend the night at a haunted house. What could go wrong? All of it. All of it could go wrong. We talk about the not-at-all subtle gayness of Theo, the nimbleness of Russ Tamblyn, the variability of Nell, and the spot-on mustache game of Dr. Markway.

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Robert Wise

Written by: Nelson Gidding, based on the novel by Shirley Jackson

Released: 1963


Quote (Iconic): Whatever walks there, walks alone

Quote (Less iconic, but funnier): I’m coming! I’m coming! Whatever it wants of me, it can have!

Poll: Do you try to like a classic movie because of its classic status?

Rule: Do your homework before spending the night in a haunted house.

 

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Episode 39 - Beyond THIR13EN Ghosts

Episode 39 - Beyond THIR13EN Ghosts

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond THIR13EN GHOSTS

The first of our "Haunting of the Hell House on the Hill" suite!

13 ghosts.jpg

Oh boy. Oh… boy. This movie is something else.

We start off arguing about whether THIR13EN Ghosts is like eating popcorn, or fried snickers, or fried catshit, then move on to whether Matthew Lillard is awesome or awesomely annoying. We have more plans for our eventual merch store and discuss converting spells from reel-to-reel to MP3 format.

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Steve Beck

Written by: Neal Marshall and Richard D'Ovidio

Released: 2001


Quote: Hey Glass Family Robinson, you’re wasting your time.

Poll:  Would you stay in a house that ate the key and took that long to open?

Rule: If you can be anybody, be C̶o̶o̶p̶e̶r̶   Maggie

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Episode 38 - Beyond Hereditary

Episode 38 - Beyond Hereditary

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond Hereditary

hereditary.jpg

With honorary Polterguide Ryan (check out his blog for more of Ryan)

This episode is what happens when you caffeinate your Polterguides and have them watch a movie they have strong feelings about. And we have a LOT of strong feelings about Hereditary. Grief, parenting, mental illness, and some 70’s era possession stuff along with amazing acting and cinematography.

IMDB Synopsis

Written and directed by: Ari Aster

Released: 2018


Quote: Don’t you cuss at me you little shit! …and… That fucking face on your face!

Poll: Was Gabriel Byrne (#GabrielBurnz) in on this from the beginning and just got waylaid by the fire by accident?

Rule: Have a severe nut allergy? Bring your Epipen.

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Episode 37 - Beyond The Thing

Episode 37 - Beyond The Thing

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond The Thing

The Thing.jpg

In the world of The Thing, there are no women, there are a lot of scruffy white guys, and no dog is safe. Donna was traumatized, Kenzi was delighted, Debbie stands up for gingers’ rights, and Mac realized a childhood dream in watching this film.

#thingosis

#whisky&weed

#researchingwhitedudes

#someofmybestfriendsaregingers

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: John Carpenter

Written by: Bill Lancaster

Released: 1982


Quote: Nobody trusts anybody now, and we’re all so tired.

Poll: Is the Thing a member of the crew of the ship that crashed in the opening or was it some sort of prisoner or a substance on the ship?

Auxiliary Poll: Fuck-Marry-Kill MacReady, Snake Pliskin, Jack Burton

Rule: Never accept dogs from  ̶S̶w̶e̶d̶e̶s̶ Norwegians

 

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Our logo was created by Billy Whala and Debbie Buchanan.

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Episode 36 - Beyond Psycho

Episode 36 - Beyond Psycho

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond Psycho

We’re all in love with Janet Leigh, Tony Perkins and John Galvin. We pan the need for the shot-for-shot remake. Mac learns what S&M really means. Problematic men of the 60’s.

Norman.jpg

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Alfred Hitchcock

Written by: Joseph Stefano, based on the novel by Robert Bloch

Released: 1960


Quote: I think that we're all in our private traps, clamped in them, and none of us can ever get out.

            Honorable mention: I’ll lick the stamps

Poll:

Rule: It’s always the nice guys™ who will stab you in the shower.

 

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psycho poster.jpg

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Episode 35 - Beyond the Twilight Zone

Episode 35 - Beyond the Twilight Zone

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods goes beyond The Twilight Zone

the twilight zone the movie.jpg

Along with Polterguest Ryan, we had a lot to say about this film – so much, we made a super-sized episode! We talk about John Landis’s involvement in the death of Vic Morrow and two child actors on the set of the film. We learn the word “Discrimiflip.” Spielberg teaches us about an overused trope. We do a great inadvertent ad for Fat Guys Burger bar (Hit us up, Fat Guys)! And so much more!

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Joe Dante, John Landis, George Miller, Steven Spielberg

Written by:  John Landis, George Clayton Johnson, Richard Matheson, Melissa Mathison, Jerome Bixby, Rod Serling

Released: 1983

Watch at your own risk: Helicopter Crash on the Set of Twilight Zone The Movie


Quotes:

Time Out: I don’t care what you gentlemen think, as long as we don’t have to listen to it.

Kick the Can: Sunnyvale Rest Home: Where hope is just a memory

It’s a good Life: Anything can happen in cartoons!

Nightmare at 20,000 Feet: You big silly, you used to be a normal person!

Overall: Hey, you want to see something really scary?

Rules:

Time Out: Don’t be a racist shitbag.

Kick the Can: When Scatman Crothers asks you to kick the can, you say yes.

It’s a good Life: Don’t go to the second location – it’s just a good rule for life.

Nightmare at 20,000 Feet: Take the aisle seat. You’ll sleep better

Overall: Don’t pick up hitchhikers.

Poll: Which classic episode should have been remade?

 

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http://www.supercoloring.com/silhouettes/log-cabin

Our music was modified from Dementia by Decomentarium and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution License.
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Episode 34 - Beyond Truth or Dare

Episode 34 - Beyond Truth or Dare

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods latest episode: Truth or Dare

Truth-or-Dare-poster-1.jpg

This diverse cast of attractive young people traveled to Mexico for spring break and imitation Harry Potter introduces them into a possessed game of Truth or Dare.

Also, a mini-segment on Ready Player One.

#demonkleenex

#gatewayhorrormovie

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Jeff Wadlow

Written by: Jillian Jacobs, Michael Reisz, Christopher Roach, Jeff Wadlow

Released: 2018


Quote: I brought you all up here because I’m OK with strangers dying if it means I get to live.

Poll:

Rule: Don’t trespass disrespectfully at an abandoned church.

 

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Our logo was created by Billy Whala and Debbie Buchanan.

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Our music was modified from Dementia by Decomentarium and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution License.
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Episode 33 - Beyond A Quiet Place

Episode 33 - Beyond A Quiet Place

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods latest episode: A Quiet Place

A Quiet Place poster.jpg

Your Polterguides, along with Polterguest Shannon, discuss this family-centric horror film. Topics include which Star Trek character was the hottest, how to keep your fitbit happy, the fact that these characters actually had names, the untouched potato chip aisle, the amazing acting, the it-better-win-an-oscar sound design, and what in the world would possess you to get pregnant in a world where noise = death.

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by:  John Krasinski

Written by: Bryan Woods, Scott Beck, and John Krasinski

Released: 2018


Quote: I. Love. You. I have always loved you.

Poll: How long would you survive in this particular apocalyptic setting?

Rule: Supervise your children!

 

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Our music was modified from Dementia by Decomentarium and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution License.
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Episode 32 - Beyond The Cloverfield Paradox

Episode 32 - Beyond The Cloverfield Paradox

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods latest episode: The Cloverfield Paradox

The Polterguides watched Netflix’s Cloverfield Paradox. We had a lot of feelings about this movie, which mostly boil down to other movies have done the things in this movie already and done them better. It had some good points, most of them were that Chris O’Dowd was an actor in this movie. Actually, the entire cast was great.

Cloverfield.jpg

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Julius Onah

Written by: Oren Uziel and Doug Jung

Released: 2018

Quote: Earth? It’s the big, blue, ball full of angry people! / Kansas? Really? Who gives a shit?

Poll: Would you kill 3 people to save 8 billion?

Rule: We only have one Earth, please don’t fuck it up.

Auxilliary rule: Have you tried turning it off and back on again?

 

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Our logo was created by Billy Whala and Debbie Buchanan.

Some parts of it are used under a creative commons license:
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http://www.supercoloring.com/silhouettes/log-cabin

Our music was modified from Dementia by Decomentarium and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution License.
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Episode 31 - Beyond Plan 9 from Outer Space

Episode 31 - Beyond Plan 9 from Outer Space

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods latest episode: Plan 9 from Outer Space

Plan 9 from Outer Space. Generally considered the worst movie ever made. So of course, we watched it.

1024px-Plan_nine_from_outer_space.jpg

Since the movie is in the public domain, Polterguide Mac put up a video of the full length movie with our comments over it. Beyond the Cabin in the Woods versus Plan 9 from Outer Space


This episode was an experiment. We recorded it while watching Plan 9. That means the audio from the movie is in this podcast. And that means you may enjoy the video more than the podcast by itself.

On the other hand, that means you will have watched the worst movie ever made. Sorry.

#graveyardlaw

 

IMDB Synopsis

Written and Directed by: Edward D. Wood, Jr.

Released: 1959


Quote: Remember, my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future.

Poll: Who is the Ed Wood of your friend group?

Rule: After you’ve failed through eight plans, call it a day.

 

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Our logo was created by Billy Whala and Debbie Buchanan.

Some parts of it are used under a creative commons license:
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http://www.supercoloring.com/silhouettes/log-cabin

Our music was modified from Dementia by Decomentarium and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution License.
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Episode 30 - Beyond Annihilation

Episode 30 - Beyond Annihilation

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods latest episode: Annihilation

Annihilation.jpg

Annihilation

 

This movie is spectacularly beautiful and was abandoned at the last minute by Paramount’s publicity department. Not so much based on Jeff Vandermeer’s book as set in the roughly the same world, this movie tells the story of an expedition into the Southern Reach’s Area X.

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Alex Garland

Written by: Alex Garland based on the novel by Jeff Vandermeer  

Released: 2018


Quote: Almost none of us commit suicide, almost everyone self-destructs. Isn’t self-destruction programmed into us?

Poll: Would you go into the shimmer for your significant other?

Rule: Don’t cheat on your spouse.

 

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Our logo was created by Billy Whala and Debbie Buchanan.

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http://www.supercoloring.com/silhouettes/log-cabin

Our music was modified from Dementia by Decomentarium and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution License.
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Episode 29 - Beyond Winchester

Episode 29 - Beyond Winchester

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods latest episode: Winchester

Winchester poster.jpg

Listen, we understand. By the time this episode goes up, you’ve already forgotten that a movie named Winchester ever existed. If it helps, we spend a lot of time talking about other movies (Terminator, Alien, Scooby Doo, Caligula, and so many more…)

Seriously, don’t worry about watching the movie first. Sure, we spoil the hell out of it, but were you really planning to see it anyway?

So, listen to this episode because you love our sparkling personalities!

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: The Spierig Brothers

Written by: Tim Vaugn and the Spierig Brothers

Released 2018:


Quote: It’s quite a special house, isn’t it? That, ma’am, is beyond dispute.

Poll:  Was this movie doomed from the start, or was a victim of a studio didn’t believe in it?

Rule: Reload the bullet – if you’ve ever been shot to death and recovered.

 

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Our logo was created by Billy Whala and Debbie Buchanan.

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Episode 28 - Beyond The Conjuring

Episode 28 - Beyond The Conjuring

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods latest episode:  The Conjuring

The-Conjuring-Poster.jpg

The Conjuring

 

With Polterguest Jack, your Polterguides watched the “real life” story of The Conjuring. Supernatural investigators The Warrens check out an old house with a bad history. We had a lot of opinions about this movie. The Warrens. Witches. Demons. Possessions. Exorcisms. And creepy dolls.

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: James Wan

Written by: Chad Hayes, Carey W. Hayes

Released: 2013


Quote: Sometimes, when you get haunted, it’s like stepping in gum.

Poll: After the second game of hide-n-clap, would you stay? Or call the Warrens?

Rule: If a dog doesn’t like a thing, it is a bad thing, and you should abandon it (the thing, not the dog).

 

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Our logo was created by Billy Whala and Debbie Buchanan.

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Episode 27 - Beyond The Girl With All the Gifts

Episode 27 - Beyond The Girl With All the Gifts

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods latest episode: The Girl With all the Gifts

the-girl-with-all-the-gifts-poster.jpg

Your Polterguides watched the post-apoc fungus-zombie flick The Girl with All the Gifts. We really enjoyed this movie and you will too! Glenn Close is amazing and the Hungries are super creepy.

#notallwhiteprotagonists

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Colm McCarthy

Written by: Mike Carey

Released: 2016


Quote: It’s not over. It’s just not yours anymore

Poll: Is it morally acceptable, or praiseworthy, or even obligatory, to commit genocide when your own race is in imminent danger of extinction.

Rule: There is not rule that will help you in this world – you’re on your own.

 

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Episode 26 - Beyond the Bride of Frankenstein

Episode 26 - Beyond the Bride of Frankenstein

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods latest episode: Bride of Frankenstein

BoF.jpg

Your Polterguides would like to apologize in advance for their rendition of “There’s a Light.” We’re so sorry.

The Polterguides watched the Universal Classic Bride of Frankenstein.  The 1935 classic holds up amazingly well after more than 80 years. Your Polterguides loved Mary Shelly’s sass, Dr. Praetorius’ little people in jars, and what actually went into the new monster’s brain.

If you haven’t seen Bride, SEE IT. You’ll notice its influence on everything from Weird Science to the Rocky Horror Picture Show (hence the weird cat-like screeching we subject you to at the beginning).

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: James Whale

Written by: William Hurlbutt, based on the story by Mary Shelly

Released: 1935


Quote: To a new world of gods and monsters. Mwua ha ha ha!

Poll:  Which is scarier – Monsters? Or Man?

Rule: Make sure people want to be your friend.

 

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Our logo was created by Billy Whala and Debbie Buchanan.

Some parts of it are used under a creative commons license:
Designed by Freepik
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
http://www.supercoloring.com/silhouettes/log-cabin

Our music was modified from Dementia by Decomentarium and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution License.
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

 

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BtCitW Survived 2017!

BtCitW Survived 2017!

2017.png

Your Poulterguides review 2017, our fav movies, our fav episodes, and what we're looking forward to in 2018.

Adrean couldn't be with us for the recording, but we have a special Adrean segment added in.

Enjoy, and, hey! Check us out on Twitter, Facebook, or Insta and tell us what you're looking forward to. Let us know if you have a suggestion for a movie we need to see.

Episode 25 - Beyond Gremlins

Episode 25 - Beyond Gremlins

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods latest episode: Gremlins

gremlins-movie-poster-1984.jpg

Hey, Merry Christmas to all our good Ghouls out there! Here’s a bonus Christmas episode for you! We watched Gremlins, surely one of the most classic of classic Christmas movies! Your Polterguides talk Gremlins trivia, from spider monkeys in gremlin costume to malfunctioning Gizmo robots and how remarkably progressive this movie is.

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Joe Dante

Written by: Chris Columbus

Released: 1984


Quote: You know, I bet every kid in America is gonna want one of these.

Poll: Why is Gizmo good?

Rule: Just follow the rules

 

 

If you enjoyed this, please consider buying us a coffee? https://ko-fi.com/A487KYM

Our logo was created by Billy Whala and Debbie Buchanan.

Some parts of it are used under a creative commons license:
Designed by Freepik
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
http://www.supercoloring.com/silhouettes/log-cabin

Our music was modified from Dementia by Decomentarium and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution License.
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

 

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Episode 24 - Beyond A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

Episode 24 - Beyond A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods latest episode: A Nightmare on Elm Street

nightmare.jpg

Your Polterguides along with polterguest Mac watched the 1984 classic A Nightmare on Elm Street.

We talk about our own bad dreams, crop tops for men, Johnny Depps career arc, and the beauty of good practical effects.

 

Dear David

The Perils of Being Disbelieved (Why didn’t you believe her?)

IMDB Synopsis

 

Written and directed by: Wes Craven

Released: 1984


Quote: God, I look twenty years old!

Poll: What the hell actually happened at the end?

Rule: When being chased by a monster, just rewatch Home Alone (but give yourself more than 20 minutes!)

 

If you enjoyed this, please consider buying us a coffee? https://ko-fi.com/A487KYM

Our logo was created by Billy Whala and Debbie Buchanan.

Some parts of it are used under a creative commons license:
Designed by Freepik
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
http://www.supercoloring.com/silhouettes/log-cabin

Our music was modified from Dementia by Decomentarium and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution License.
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

 

#beyondthecabininthewoods  #beyondthecabin  #horror, #horrorfan, #horrorfilms, #horrormovies, #horrorfanatic, #horrorjunkie, #currentlywatching, #ilovehorror, #horrorlove, #horrorfamily, #horrorgeek, #horrornerd, #horroraddict #horrorlife, #horrorfreak, #horrorclub, #AdreanMessmer, #DonnaLeahey, #KenziWhala ,#debbiebuchanan, #SnarkCasts #gumbiecatnetwork

Episode 23 - Beyond Rob Zombie's Halloween (2007)

Episode 23 - Beyond Rob Zombie's Halloween (2007)

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods latest episode: Rob Zombie's Halloween

RZ Halloween.png

With Polterguest Mac, we discuss the Rob Zombie take on Halloween, which we dub the Michael Myers Origin Story. Bloodier and grittier than the Carpenter version, Zombie turns Michael Myers from an inhuman monster into a sympathetic victim of his own upbringing.

  IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Rob Zombie

Written by: Rob Zombie, based on the screenplay by John Carpenter and Debra Hill

Released: 2007


Quote: You and that army of shirt-tuckers up there, you know exactly where he’s going!

Poll: What horror movie would you like to see Rob Zombie remake?

Rule: All any monster needs is a good hug.

If you enjoyed this, please consider buying us a coffee? https://ko-fi.com/A487KYM

Our logo was created by Billy Whala and Debbie Buchanan.

Some parts of it are used under a creative commons license:
Designed by Freepik
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
http://www.supercoloring.com/silhouettes/log-cabin

Our music was modified from Dementia by Decomentarium and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution License.
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

 

#beyondthecabininthewoods  #beyondthecabin  #horror, #horrorfan, #horrorfilms, #horrormovies, #horrorfanatic, #horrorjunkie, #currentlywatching, #ilovehorror, #horrorlove, #horrorfamily, #horrorgeek, #horrornerd, #horroraddict #horrorlife, #horrorfreak, #horrorclub, #AdreanMessmer, #DonnaLeahey, #KenziWhala ,#debbiebuchanan, #SnarkCasts #gumbiecatnetwork