Episode 33 - A Quiet Place

Episode 33 - A Quiet Place

Beyond the Cabin in the Woods latest episode: A Quiet Place

A Quiet Place poster.jpg

Your Polterguides, along with Polterguest Shannon, discuss this family-centric horror film. Topics include which Star Trek character was the hottest, how to keep your fitbit happy, the fact that these characters actually had names, the untouched potato chip aisle, the amazing acting, the it-better-win-an-oscar sound design, and what in the world would possess you to get pregnant in a world where noise = death.

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by:  John Krasinski

Written by: Bryan Woods, Scott Beck, and John Krasinski

Released: 2018


Quote: I. Love. You. I have always loved you.

Poll: How long would you survive in this particular apocalyptic setting?

Rule: Supervise your children!

 

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Episode 32 - The Cloverfield Paradox

Episode 32 - The Cloverfield Paradox

The Polterguides watched Netflix’s Cloverfield Paradox. We had a lot of feelings about this movie, which mostly boil down to other movies have done the things in this movie already and done them better. It had some good points, most of them were that Chris O’Dowd was an actor in this movie. Actually, the entire cast was great.

Cloverfield.jpg

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Julius Onah

Written by: Oren Uziel and Doug Jung

Released: 2018

Quote: Earth? It’s the big, blue, ball full of angry people! / Kansas? Really? Who gives a shit?

Poll: Would you kill 3 people to save 8 billion?

Rule: We only have one Earth, please don’t fuck it up.

Auxilliary rule: Have you tried turning it off and back on again?

 

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Episode 31 - Plan 9 from Outer Space

Episode 31 - Plan 9 from Outer Space

Plan 9 from Outer Space. Generally considered the worst movie ever made. So of course, we watched it.

1024px-Plan_nine_from_outer_space.jpg

Since the movie is in the public domain, Polterguide Mac put up a video of the full length movie with our comments over it. Beyond the Cabin in the Woods versus Plan 9 from Outer Space


This episode was an experiment. We recorded it while watching Plan 9. That means the audio from the movie is in this podcast. And that means you may enjoy the video more than the podcast by itself.

On the other hand, that means you will have watched the worst movie ever made. Sorry.

#graveyardlaw

 

IMDB Synopsis

Written and Directed by: Edward D. Wood, Jr.

Released: 1959


Quote: Remember, my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future.

Poll: Who is the Ed Wood of your friend group?

Rule: After you’ve failed through eight plans, call it a day.

 

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EPISODE 6 - Little Shop of Horrors

We had so much fun watching this movie and recording this episode.

Half of us were coughing* and all of us were at least moderately inebriated as we settled in to watch this comedy/musical/horror movie.

*I edited out all the coughs I could, guys.

We watched the original dark ending (everyone dies, y’all), and talk about why this comedy musical is a horror movie, Audrey’s wardrobe and décolletage, everyone’s secret Rick Moranis crush, dead spiders, blood donation, the chorus, that every song is our favorite, and Steve Martin’s fantastic turn as Orin Scrivello, DDS.

 

Quote: Feed me, Seymour!

Poll: Would you buy Audrey II? Would you feed it?

Rule: If it needs to drink my blood to live, let it die.

 

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Frank Oz

Screenplay: Howard Ashman. Based on the film by: Roger Corman and 1960 screenplay by Charles B. Griffin

Relased: 1986



 

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EPISODE 5 - Prometheus

Your polterguides gathered to watch Prometheus, the "Alien prequel." With special guest Billy, we discussed Guy Pierce's old age makeup, Idris Elba's tragic lack of a shirtless scene, whether androids even have roots that need to be bleached, and whether or not extra-Weylandcorp androids should be included in a general android ban.

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Ridley Scott

Written by: Jon Spaihts and Damon Lindelof based on story elements created by Dan O’Bannon and Ronald Shusett

Released: 2012

Rule 5a - Do not remove your headgear!

Rule 5b - DTtA! Don't trust the android (Does not apply to Data)

 

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EPISODE 4 - Ginger Snaps

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: John Fawcett

Story by: Karen Walton, Joh Fawcett

Written by: Karen Walton

Released: 2000


Quote: A girl can only be a slut, a bitch , a tease or the virgin next door.

Poll: Did Bridget go on the journey with Ginger? Or did she try to cure herself?

Rule: Don't have unprotected sex with a werewolf. Or with anyone. Don't have unprotected sex, you guys.

 

Our logo was created by Billy Whala and Debbie Buchanan.

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EPISODE 3 - Get Out

IMDB Synopsis

Directed and Written by: Jordan Peele

Released: 2017


Rule: Always make sure someone knows where you are!

 

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EPISODE 2 - They Live

They Live

Your Polterguides watched John Carpenter’s 1988 They Live and spent a lot of time talking about men’s late 80’s fashion.

Carpenter’s takedown of Reaganomics, Yuppies, and “Greed is Good” culture has recently been in the news as anti-Semitic groups try to assign a new meaning.

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: John Carpenter

Written by: Ray Nelson (short story "Eight O'Clock in the Morning"), John Carpenter (as Frank Armitage) (screenplay)

Released: 1988


Rule #2 – Don’t wear mom jeans.

Rule #2a – Don’t follow the girl who clearly doesn’t like you.

 

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 Woodcut by Brian Reedy, used by permission. Check out his Etsy shop at  https://www.etsy.com/shop/WoodcutEmporium

Woodcut by Brian Reedy, used by permission. Check out his Etsy shop at https://www.etsy.com/shop/WoodcutEmporium

EPISODE 1 - The Cabin in the Woods

Welcome to Beyond the Cabin in the Woods: A Good Ghoul’s Guide to Horror.

No! Don’t go in the cabin!

In this premiere episode, your polterguides Debbie, Donna, Adrean, and Kenzi watched Joss Whedon’s The Cabin in the Woods, released in 2012 and becoming instantly beloved by horror fans for its insightful approach to a classic and formulaic horror trope.

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Drew Goddard

Written by: Joss Whedon, Drew Goddard

Released: 2012



Poll: Would you have shot Marty?

Rule # 1 - Don't read the Latin

 

 

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Annihilation

Annihilation

Annihilation.jpg

Annihilation

 

This movie is spectacularly beautiful and was abandoned at the last minute by Paramount’s publicity department. Not so much based on Jeff Vandermeer’s book as set in the roughly the same world, this movie tells the story of an expedition into the Southern Reach’s Area X.

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Alex Garland

Written by: Alex Garland based on the novel by Jeff Vandermeer  

Released: 2018


Quote: Almost none of us commit suicide, almost everyone self-destructs. Isn’t self-destruction programmed into us?

Poll: Would you go into the shimmer for your significant other?

Rule: Don’t cheat on your spouse.

 

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Winchester

Winchester

Winchester poster.jpg

Listen, we understand. By the time this episode goes up, you’ve already forgotten that a movie named Winchester ever existed. If it helps, we spend a lot of time talking about other movies (Terminator, Alien, Scooby Doo, Caligula, and so many more…)

Seriously, don’t worry about watching the movie first. Sure, we spoil the hell out of it, but were you really planning to see it anyway?

So, listen to this episode because you love our sparkling personalities!

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: The Spierig Brothers

Written by: Tim Vaugn and the Spierig Brothers

Released 2018:


Quote: It’s quite a special house, isn’t it? That, ma’am, is beyond dispute.

Poll:  Was this movie doomed from the start, or was a victim of a studio didn’t believe in it?

Rule: Reload the bullet – if you’ve ever been shot to death and recovered.

 

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The Conjuring

The Conjuring

The-Conjuring-Poster.jpg

The Conjuring

 

With Polterguest Jack, your Polterguides watched the “real life” story of The Conjuring. Supernatural investigators The Warrens check out an old house with a bad history. We had a lot of opinions about this movie. The Warrens. Witches. Demons. Possessions. Exorcisms. And creepy dolls.

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: James Wan

Written by: Chad Hayes, Carey W. Hayes

Released: 2013


Quote: Sometimes, when you get haunted, it’s like stepping in gum.

Poll: After the second game of hide-n-clap, would you stay? Or call the Warrens?

Rule: If a dog doesn’t like a thing, it is a bad thing, and you should abandon it (the thing, not the dog).

 

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The Girl With All the Gifts

The Girl With All the Gifts

the-girl-with-all-the-gifts-poster.jpg

Your Polterguides watched the post-apoc fungus-zombie flick The Girl with All the Gifts. We really enjoyed this movie and you will too! Glenn Close is amazing and the Hungries are super creepy.

#notallwhiteprotagonists

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Colm McCarthy

Written by: Mike Carey

Released: 2016


Quote: It’s not over. It’s just not yours anymore

Poll: Is it morally acceptable, or praiseworthy, or even obligatory, to commit genocide when your own race is in imminent danger of extinction.

Rule: There is not rule that will help you in this world – you’re on your own.

 

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Bride of Frankenstein

Bride of Frankenstein

BoF.jpg

Your Polterguides would like to apologize in advance for their rendition of “There’s a Light.” We’re so sorry.

The Polterguides watched the Universal Classic Bride of Frankenstein.  The 1935 classic holds up amazingly well after more than 80 years. Your Polterguides loved Mary Shelly’s sass, Dr. Praetorius’ little people in jars, and what actually went into the new monster’s brain.

If you haven’t seen Bride, SEE IT. You’ll notice its influence on everything from Weird Science to the Rocky Horror Picture Show (hence the weird cat-like screeching we subject you to at the beginning).

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: James Whale

Written by: William Hurlbutt, based on the story by Mary Shelly

Released: 1935


Quote: To a new world of gods and monsters. Mwua ha ha ha!

Poll:  Which is scarier – Monsters? Or Man?

Rule: Make sure people want to be your friend.

 

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BtCitW Survived 2017!

BtCitW Survived 2017!

2017.png

Your Poulterguides review 2017, our fav movies, our fav episodes, and what we're looking forward to in 2018.

Adrean couldn't be with us for the recording, but we have a special Adrean segment added in.

Enjoy, and, hey! Check us out on Twitter, Facebook, or Insta and tell us what you're looking forward to. Let us know if you have a suggestion for a movie we need to see.

Gremlins

Gremlins

gremlins-movie-poster-1984.jpg

Hey, Merry Christmas to all our good Ghouls out there! Here’s a bonus Christmas episode for you! We watched Gremlins, surely one of the most classic of classic Christmas movies! Your Polterguides talk Gremlins trivia, from spider monkeys in gremlin costume to malfunctioning Gizmo robots and how remarkably progressive this movie is.

 

IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Joe Dante

Written by: Chris Columbus

Released: 1984


Quote: You know, I bet every kid in America is gonna want one of these.

Poll: Why is Gizmo good?

Rule: Just follow the rules

 

 

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A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

nightmare.jpg

Your Polterguides along with polterguest Mac watched the 1984 classic A Nightmare on Elm Street.

We talk about our own bad dreams, crop tops for men, Johnny Depps career arc, and the beauty of good practical effects.

 

Dear David

The Perils of Being Disbelieved (Why didn’t you believe her?)

IMDB Synopsis

 

Written and directed by: Wes Craven

Released: 1984


Quote: God, I look twenty years old!

Poll: What the hell actually happened at the end?

Rule: When being chased by a monster, just rewatch Home Alone (but give yourself more than 20 minutes!)

 

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Rob Zombie's Halloween (2007)

Rob Zombie's Halloween (2007)

RZ Halloween.png

With Polterguest Mac, we discuss the Rob Zombie take on Halloween, which we dub the Michael Myers Origin Story. Bloodier and grittier than the Carpenter version, Zombie turns Michael Myers from an inhuman monster into a sympathetic victim of his own upbringing.

  IMDB Synopsis

Directed by: Rob Zombie

Written by: Rob Zombie, based on the screenplay by John Carpenter and Debra Hill

Released: 2007


Quote: You and that army of shirt-tuckers up there, you know exactly where he’s going!

Poll: What horror movie would you like to see Rob Zombie remake?

Rule: All any monster needs is a good hug.

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http://www.supercoloring.com/silhouettes/log-cabin

Our music was modified from Dementia by Decomentarium and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution License.
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

 

#beyondthecabininthewoods  #beyondthecabin  #horror, #horrorfan, #horrorfilms, #horrormovies, #horrorfanatic, #horrorjunkie, #currentlywatching, #ilovehorror, #horrorlove, #horrorfamily, #horrorgeek, #horrornerd, #horroraddict #horrorlife, #horrorfreak, #horrorclub, #AdreanMessmer, #DonnaLeahey, #KenziWhala ,#debbiebuchanan, #SnarkCasts #gumbiecatnetwork

Gerald's Game

Gerald's Game

Geralds game.jpg

Your Polterguides talk about Gerald’s Game.  We talk about kink-shaming, really offensive jokes, more kink-shaming, the need for frank conversation about sexy-time adventures, appropriate packing of sex toys, good doggos v. bad doggos, and Stephen King projects in general.

 

IMDB Synopsis

Written and Directed by: Mike Flanagan

Released: 2017


Quote: I’m pretty sure you just lost your mind. Seeing a dog eating your husband will do that.

Poll: How would you have attempted to escape.

Rule: Have a safe word. Respect the safe word.

 

If you enjoyed this, please consider buying us a coffee? https://ko-fi.com/A487KYM

Our logo was created by Billy Whala and Debbie Buchanan.

Some parts of it are used under a creative commons license:
Designed by Freepik
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
http://www.supercoloring.com/silhouettes/log-cabin

Our music was modified from Dementia by Decomentarium and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution License.
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

 

#beyondthecabininthewoods  #beyondthecabin  #horror, #horrorfan, #horrorfilms, #horrormovies, #horrorfanatic, #horrorjunkie, #currentlywatching, #ilovehorror, #horrorlove, #horrorfamily, #horrorgeek, #horrornerd, #horroraddict #horrorlife, #horrorfreak, #horrorclub, #AdreanMessmer, #DonnaLeahey, #KenziWhala ,#debbiebuchanan, #SnarkCasts #gumbiecatnetwork

Happy Death Day

Happy Death Day

happy death day.jpg

Groundhog Day in college with murder. We talk about our Hogwarts houses, our college experiences, problems with purchasing women’s pants, availability of Vans, and a few things we just saw really differently.

 

IMDB Synopsis

Director: Christopher Landon

Writer: Scott Lobdell

Released: 2017


Quote: How do you not know who Bill Murray is?

Poll: Would you have eaten the cupcake?

Rule: Don’t be a dick (aka the Wheaton Rule)

 

If you enjoyed this, please consider buying us a coffee? https://ko-fi.com/A487KYM

Our logo was created by Billy Whala and Debbie Buchanan.

Some parts of it are used under a creative commons license:
Designed by Freepik
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
http://www.supercoloring.com/silhouettes/log-cabin

Our music was modified from Dementia by Decomentarium and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution License.
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

 

#beyondthecabininthewoods  #beyondthecabin  #horror, #horrorfan, #horrorfilms, #horrormovies, #horrorfanatic, #horrorjunkie, #currentlywatching, #ilovehorror, #horrorlove, #horrorfamily, #horrorgeek, #horrornerd, #horroraddict #horrorlife, #horrorfreak, #horrorclub, #AdreanMessmer, #DonnaLeahey, #KenziWhala ,#debbiebuchanan, #SnarkCasts #gumbiecatnetwork